


Lonely Heart Seeking

by littlewonder



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Confessions, Loneliness, M/M, Roommates, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 15:42:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19976506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlewonder/pseuds/littlewonder
Summary: Todd tries reaching out to Neil. Neil accepts him.





	Lonely Heart Seeking

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted to [LJ](https://littlewonder2.livejournal.com/30645.html)

Todd gripped the edge of the mattress hard as he stared across at his roommate, staring back at him.

"What's wrong?" asks Neil.

"Nothing."

"Not nothing," said Neil. "You look tense."

"Well, I'm not --"

"And you said you can't sleep. You're not just messing around, are you? What's wrong?"

"I told you, nothing--"

"Don't give me that! Just a moment ago, you were hovering over me while I slept! If you have something to say to me, spit it out!"

Todd took a deep breath, hesitating. Carpe diem...

No, he couldn't. He was wrong. "Nothing."

"If you tell me nothing one more time --"

"Fine," Todd caved. He knew Neil wasn't going to back off. "I..." No, he couldn't. He couldn't... "I kind of wanted to..." No, don't say it. He'll hate you if say it.

"Wanted to... what?" said Neil.

Todd sighed, looking down. He couldn't... but he couldn't tell Neil that again, either. "I wanted to... sort of..."

"What?"

Todd held up his hand, closing his fist onto thin air. He dropped it. "I feel lonely," is all he said.

"I figured that when I first saw you."

Todd's head snapped up. What?

"I wanted to... be close to you."

"Oh."

Neil looked for a minute like he didn't know how to process that. Then he moved back against the wall and opened his blanket to Todd. "Be my guest."

Shocked that Neil wasn't rejecting him, he tentatively got up again and snuggled in beside Neil. The blanket fell back behind Todd and he found himself snug comfortably -- terrifyingly -- pressed against Neil in the small bed. He draped his arm over Neil and hugged it into him, allowing Todd quickly after to drift into sleep, the warmth almost as if the winter had already passed.

Neil was his spring. He was his body, ready to cling onto, someone outside his own meager comforts willing to share his beautiful body. He was everything he never thought he deserved.


End file.
